Tonight I went to midnight Mass at the monastery and I'm starting to think I might just be too old to be staying up this late. Atleast it only happens one night a year.
It was a beautiful Mass.
Before heading to bed I wanted to wish everyone a very merry and blessed Christmas. May you feel the magnitude of God's love for you in this one lowly birth.
God remember all of your children
who are not around to celebrate Christmas this year
because of accidents, murder, illness and abortion.
And remember all those
who will not be celebrating Christmas
because of homelessness, loneliness, or lack of faith.
Amen.
Dec 25, 2012
Dec 21, 2012
It Starting To Look Like...
...winter at Trinity Heights.
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| Eucharistic Adoration in the Chapel |
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| On the bridge by St. Francis of /Assissi |
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| Our Lady of Mount Carmel |
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| A picture of where a deer was 2 seconds ago. |
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 12, 2012
Missing the Call
Recently, I came across a discussion online in which a poster was worried about missing God's call. The gist of the conversation was that they wish God would just tell them what he wanted them to do. What if they were called to the religious life, but didn't realize it until after they had already gotten married?
He'll Call Again
Trust me, God does not just call once, he keeps calling until you answer. (He's kind of a nag that way) When I was younger, I went off the tracks and ended up in a place where a call to religious life was no longer possible. Did God give up on me? Of course not. He reassessed his options and began calling me to do other things. Nothing is an obstacle to God.
Selective Hearing
God calls us in many different ways. You might be hoping for the booming voice with choirs of angels singing or maybe a written out agenda (that would be sweet). Not likely to happen. A call can be a subtle as a feeling of interest in something or thought or more major like getting lost and ending up at a priest's convention or hearing the same word or phrase over and over from different sources. If you're only tuned in to getting a big announcement, you just might miss the whisper.
Stop Waiting Around
While you're waiting to hear his call, instead of just sitting around stressing, get off your duff and seek him out. Pick a devotion. The rosary, Eucharistic adoration, liturgy of the hours are all good places to start. If it doesn't do anything for you, move on to another. Eventually you'll hit on something that feels right to you. Use that devotion to get closer to God. As you get closer, you'll be able to better hear him and might (big might) discover what he wants you to do with your life.
Patience
I know, patience is not easy, but, God does things in his own time. If you get into the mindset that you have to know and you have to know now, you could set yourself up for a false call. Prepare yourself to be ready to answer when he does call and then continue to live your life, centered on God.
God of wisdom and of counsel, You see in my heart a sincere desire to please You alone and to conform myself entirely to Your holy Will in the choice of my state in life. Grant me, I humbly implore You, by the intercession of the Blessed Virgin, my Mother and my holy Patrons, the grace to know what state in life I should choose and to embrace it when known, in order that thus I may seek Your glory and increase it, work out my own salvation, and deserve the heavenly reward which You have promised to those who do Your holy Will. Amen.
He'll Call Again
Trust me, God does not just call once, he keeps calling until you answer. (He's kind of a nag that way) When I was younger, I went off the tracks and ended up in a place where a call to religious life was no longer possible. Did God give up on me? Of course not. He reassessed his options and began calling me to do other things. Nothing is an obstacle to God.
Selective Hearing
God calls us in many different ways. You might be hoping for the booming voice with choirs of angels singing or maybe a written out agenda (that would be sweet). Not likely to happen. A call can be a subtle as a feeling of interest in something or thought or more major like getting lost and ending up at a priest's convention or hearing the same word or phrase over and over from different sources. If you're only tuned in to getting a big announcement, you just might miss the whisper.
Stop Waiting Around
While you're waiting to hear his call, instead of just sitting around stressing, get off your duff and seek him out. Pick a devotion. The rosary, Eucharistic adoration, liturgy of the hours are all good places to start. If it doesn't do anything for you, move on to another. Eventually you'll hit on something that feels right to you. Use that devotion to get closer to God. As you get closer, you'll be able to better hear him and might (big might) discover what he wants you to do with your life.
Patience
I know, patience is not easy, but, God does things in his own time. If you get into the mindset that you have to know and you have to know now, you could set yourself up for a false call. Prepare yourself to be ready to answer when he does call and then continue to live your life, centered on God.
God of wisdom and of counsel, You see in my heart a sincere desire to please You alone and to conform myself entirely to Your holy Will in the choice of my state in life. Grant me, I humbly implore You, by the intercession of the Blessed Virgin, my Mother and my holy Patrons, the grace to know what state in life I should choose and to embrace it when known, in order that thus I may seek Your glory and increase it, work out my own salvation, and deserve the heavenly reward which You have promised to those who do Your holy Will. Amen.
Dec 4, 2012
Say What?
This month's assignment is to read Article 8 of the Catechism. Uh huh. The reading part is going great. The understanding what I just read, not so much.
There are bits and peices that are easy to understand, like the symbolism of the Holy Spirit. That I can get no problem. But, what the heck is stuff like this supposed to mean:
As part of the Year of Faith, the Bishops are encouraging everyone to read the Catechism. After only reading this one section, I'm almost scared to try and read the rest. Even with a college education, I'm just not smart enough to understand this stuff.
As an added self torture, in order to try and understand what the Catechism is trying to say, I also read Divinum Illud Munus, which is an Encyclical on the Holy Spirit written by Pope Leo XIII back in 1897. It was not much easier to understand than the Catechism.
So I resorted to the dummies version aka Catechism for Adults, which I conveniently had sitting on my book shelf. (Totally forgot it was there.) While it doesn't translate the mystifying passages of the Catechism, it does give a nice explanation of the general idea of the section.
I also found that I have a copy of the St. Joseph's Catechism, which is conveniently in question and answer format in elementary level language. Who could have known that I would have so many good back up sources readily available.
If I do venture to read the whole Catechism, I think I will keep the dummy versions handy, because reading the Catechism doesn't mean much if you don't understand it.
There are bits and peices that are easy to understand, like the symbolism of the Holy Spirit. That I can get no problem. But, what the heck is stuff like this supposed to mean:
706 Against all human hope, God promises descendants to Abraham, as the fruit of faith and of the power of the Holy Spirit.68 In Abraham’s progeny all the nations of the earth will be blessed. This progeny will be Christ himself,69 in whom the outpouring of the Holy Spirit will “gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad.”70 God commits himself by his own solemn oath to giving his beloved Son and “the promised Holy Spirit... [who is] the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it.”71 (60) Huh?(Yes, those are my enlightened notes on the section in red.)
As part of the Year of Faith, the Bishops are encouraging everyone to read the Catechism. After only reading this one section, I'm almost scared to try and read the rest. Even with a college education, I'm just not smart enough to understand this stuff.
As an added self torture, in order to try and understand what the Catechism is trying to say, I also read Divinum Illud Munus, which is an Encyclical on the Holy Spirit written by Pope Leo XIII back in 1897. It was not much easier to understand than the Catechism.
So I resorted to the dummies version aka Catechism for Adults, which I conveniently had sitting on my book shelf. (Totally forgot it was there.) While it doesn't translate the mystifying passages of the Catechism, it does give a nice explanation of the general idea of the section.
I also found that I have a copy of the St. Joseph's Catechism, which is conveniently in question and answer format in elementary level language. Who could have known that I would have so many good back up sources readily available.
If I do venture to read the whole Catechism, I think I will keep the dummy versions handy, because reading the Catechism doesn't mean much if you don't understand it.
Nov 26, 2012
Soon...Sort Of
My journey as an Aspirant has taken quite an adventure. Over the past year and several months, I have gone through several Aspirant partners, my mentor being in the hospital and way too much getting off topic. In another three or four or maybe five months I will enter the next phase of formation working towards making my temporary promise.
One of the requirements for entering the next phase is to write about why you want to be a Carmelite. As if what I want is at all important. God just keeps shoving me in the direction He wants me to go no matter how much I want to go in a different direction. (I'm still trying to convince Him that He wants me to win the lottery, but no luck so far.)
Since entering Carmel I have felt so much closer to God. My prayer life has expanded and I'm no longer fighting God on where He wants me to go. It's like I've found home. This is where God wants me to be. I am still a long long way from being a saint, but I'm finally on the right track.
With God's mercy and guidance I will move on to the next phase and maybe in another two years, I will be making my first promise. It may take longer. I trust that however long it takes, it will be due to all of the work God has to do to get me where I need to be.
One of the requirements for entering the next phase is to write about why you want to be a Carmelite. As if what I want is at all important. God just keeps shoving me in the direction He wants me to go no matter how much I want to go in a different direction. (I'm still trying to convince Him that He wants me to win the lottery, but no luck so far.)
Since entering Carmel I have felt so much closer to God. My prayer life has expanded and I'm no longer fighting God on where He wants me to go. It's like I've found home. This is where God wants me to be. I am still a long long way from being a saint, but I'm finally on the right track.
With God's mercy and guidance I will move on to the next phase and maybe in another two years, I will be making my first promise. It may take longer. I trust that however long it takes, it will be due to all of the work God has to do to get me where I need to be.
Nov 5, 2012
Missing It Already
Well, I've spent another fabulous weekend at Broom Tree Retreat Center.
This is my third time there and I've discovered that there seems to be a pattern developing.
On Thursday evening I am so stressed out, yet so excited to be there away from all the craziness that is my life, that I feel like I'm just running in circles not knowing what to first. Do I go spend time in adoration in the chapel, or visit St. Isidore & Maria Chapel (my favorite place), or walk the stations of the cross path, or play with Coco and the other dogs out roaming about, or puruse the gift shop (my second favorite place), or find a spot to camp out and read until the retreat starts. I usually end up not really doing anything and collape into bed around 11:00 or midnight.
Friday is when the real work begins. I get into the rhythm of the conference and have a very productive day working through all of the things that sent me to the retreat to begin with. I get time to do all of the things I wanted to do on Thursday. Except for rosary. My room had this wonderful rocker/recliner, which is to blame for my missing rosary on both Friday and Saturday. It was so easy to fall asleep in...and I did. Fell asleep in the chair that night too. (Note to self...get one of those chairs)
Saturday morning I wake up completely drained. I don't feel like doing anything, especially not group activities, but I do them any way. As the day goes on, my desire to spend time with God, either in adoration or individual prayer that by the time we reach Holy Hour in the evening, I feel like a 13 year old at a Justin Beiber concert. I do refrain from giggling and squeeling, although I want. Eventually I pull myself out of the Chapel and go back to my room where I spend the next hour or more in prayer.
Finally on Sunday, I feel completely at peace. I pack up first thing in the morning so that I can enjoy my last few hours in the tranquility without the last minute rush at the end.
The peace that I gain from the silent retreat lasts for days afterward. Until the craziness kicks in and ruins it all. Then when it gets to be too much, I'm ready to go back and start all over again.
This is my third time there and I've discovered that there seems to be a pattern developing.
On Thursday evening I am so stressed out, yet so excited to be there away from all the craziness that is my life, that I feel like I'm just running in circles not knowing what to first. Do I go spend time in adoration in the chapel, or visit St. Isidore & Maria Chapel (my favorite place), or walk the stations of the cross path, or play with Coco and the other dogs out roaming about, or puruse the gift shop (my second favorite place), or find a spot to camp out and read until the retreat starts. I usually end up not really doing anything and collape into bed around 11:00 or midnight.
Friday is when the real work begins. I get into the rhythm of the conference and have a very productive day working through all of the things that sent me to the retreat to begin with. I get time to do all of the things I wanted to do on Thursday. Except for rosary. My room had this wonderful rocker/recliner, which is to blame for my missing rosary on both Friday and Saturday. It was so easy to fall asleep in...and I did. Fell asleep in the chair that night too. (Note to self...get one of those chairs)
Saturday morning I wake up completely drained. I don't feel like doing anything, especially not group activities, but I do them any way. As the day goes on, my desire to spend time with God, either in adoration or individual prayer that by the time we reach Holy Hour in the evening, I feel like a 13 year old at a Justin Beiber concert. I do refrain from giggling and squeeling, although I want. Eventually I pull myself out of the Chapel and go back to my room where I spend the next hour or more in prayer.
Finally on Sunday, I feel completely at peace. I pack up first thing in the morning so that I can enjoy my last few hours in the tranquility without the last minute rush at the end.
The peace that I gain from the silent retreat lasts for days afterward. Until the craziness kicks in and ruins it all. Then when it gets to be too much, I'm ready to go back and start all over again.
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