This Little Light of Mine I'm Gonna Let It Shine

Last fall I took on teaching religious ed. My class is a rambunctious bunch of 1st graders who, much to my disappointment, are very smart. I thought that by teaching 1st grade I would have it easy. Well, I thought wrong.

They come up with some of the most difficult questions to answer. Like, "How does grass grow?" and "Why can't men have babies?" I'm just not intellectually equipped to know how grass grows and I'm not touching the men having babies thing. Not with 1st graders anyway. I have no desire to get stoned by parents.

My 1st graders are so much fun, though. They are filled with energy and that innocents that is gone in older kids. At around 7 years old, they still have an interest in church and God and praying and being good. They accept that there is a right and wrong, a good and bad. It's such a nice change from the many adult Catholics who don't care what the church teaches.

I hope that I am passing on more than just information about our faith. I hope that I am passing on my love and commitment to God as well. I pray that when they get older, that love of God will burn just as bright as it does now.

We Three Kings Are Buried In Symbolism

This Christmas season, I have learned so many new things. Such as, it's been six months since I last posted (oops). And that there is meaning tied to the three gifts of the wise men. Here all this time, I just thought they were just expensive gifts. Guess I should have sung more than just the first couple verses of "We Three Kings" all these years. 

In formation, I'm reading "The Story of A Soul". I've read this book before (multiple translations), seen the movie, and listened to the audio version. Each time, something new pops out at me. Someday I hope to be able to live so at peace with giving over all control of my life to God as she did.

I was listening to the last part of the audiobook while I was researching Myrrh and something jumped out at me. Therese was describing the blood she was coughing up as a good thing. It wasn't a sad affair where she was afflicted by her illness. To her it was a blessing, a sign from God that he was calling her to him. If she lived today, her illness would be treated and she would have lived for many more years. I wonder how much we may have lost if she had not felt called to God's side.

In our modern world, we see illness as something horrible. Something that needs to be cured at all cost. We don't embrace death, but rather curse it and try everything possible to keep it at bay. How weak of faith we are to hold on so tight to things of this world. We should not forego finding cures for illnesses, but we should neither be afraid to leave this world, for what awaits us is so much better if we align ourselves with God.

If we had been there in Bethlehem some 2000 years ago, would we have accepted all of the gifts that the wise men brought? Or would we have pushed away the myrrh because it was a symbol of death? I'll admit I'd be a little freaked out if some magi predicted the death of my son, but I think I would accept it. We all die after all. I just don't think I would be quite so excited about death as Therese, though. But, then she is a saint and I am a long...long...long ways from where she was when she wrote "The Story of A Soul".

Merry Christmas!

Sisters! I bring to you the Adored,

The Eternal God, so small, so weak;

I plead for the Incarnate Word,

Because as yet He cannot speak.

To Jesus, exiled from His home,

The cruel world no shelter grants;

And so to Carmel's shade I come,

  To find the shelter that He wants.

Ever your praise, your tenderness,

Your welcome sweet, your warm caress,

Be for this Child!

Oh, burn with love, for He loves you,

   This Child, who is your God and Lord.

Pathetic mystery! He who begs, tonight, of you,

Is the Eternal Word!

Come then, my Sisters! without fear,

Each in her turn, to Jesus' feet,

Offering your love to Him most dear,

And you shall know His will so sweet,

Yes, I will tell you the desires

Of Jesus born amid the snow;

For you are pure as angels are,

And you can suffer too, you know!

Ever your cares, your suffering,

And all your joys so light of wing,

Be for this Child!

Oh, burn with love, for He loves you,

This Babe, who is your God and Lord!

Pathetic mystery! He who begs, tonight, of you,

Is the Eternal Word!

(From THE LITTLE DIVINE BEGGAR OF CHRISTMAS by St. Therese of Liseaux)

Wish I Had Learned Latin When I Was Young

A couple of years ago, I discovered the Latin Mass (or EF). It was new and interesting, but completely weird. I didn't understand the language nor the order of the Mass. I just watched everyone else and stood when they stood, kneeled when they kneeled and sat when they sat. The church was so quiet while the priest performed Mass with little input from the congregation. There was no chatting or kids playing in the seats. Everyone was focused on the Mass and being reverent. It was weird and I wasn't sure I would attend that Mass again.

Fast forward to today. I still occasionally attend the Latin Mass and now even recognize a few words. There is no hope left that I will ever figure out the order of the mass, but I keep trying. There is a beauty to the Latin Mass that isn't present in the Norvus Ordo (NO) Mass. I am greatful that Pope Benedict XVI (now Pope Emeritus) brought back this beautiful tradition.

I come from the lost generation of Catholics. We are the ones who never learned Latin, never learned the specifics of our faith and basically got short changed. It took me years, but I am now beginning to learn all of the things that I should have learned when I was younger. Only it is much harder this time around. Thanks to the internet and thousands of Catholic resources doing so is much easier.

Youtube is one of my favorite resources for all things Latin. You can view EF Masses, pray along with the rosary in Latin, learn a little Latin, and so much more.

What are your favorite Latin resources?

It's Official

There's me with Father. I am now officially accepted into formation to pursue study towards my first promise. It still doesn't seem quite real yet. I can't get over the idea that I need to step it up a notch now that I'm official.

To celebrate, we had this beautiful cake that was almost too pretty to cut into. It was just as yummy as it looked.




The best surprise was my formation partner returned and we have a new Aspirant as well. Our little community is growing.

It's Almost Time

My Aspirancy is almost over. Tomorrow morning I will be officially accepted into the OCDS to begin working towards making my first promise. It's exciting and scary all at once.

May will mark two years since my first contact with the OCDS. It doesn't feel like its been that long, but it has. And I've learned so much about the Order, about God and about myself. I have not always lived up to my calling as a secular. Sometimes I am my own worst obstacle when in comes to prayer times and religious observance. But, I try.

There is so much more that I still need to learn about the Church and God. How do you condense 2000 years worth of learning into a lifetime or in my case a 1/2 a lifetime? It's a little overwhelming.

Anyways - please pray for me as I make this next step.

Love In A New Way

Holy week is my favorite time of year, especially the Triduum. It's the one time of year when there are tons of religious activities going on. Because I work I'm not able to make it to most of the activities, but I try to go to as many as I can. And at the end of it all is the Triduum, when mass is held in the evenings at a reasonable time, that I can go to.

This year I didn't go to any Triduum services because Thursday afternoon I became ill. I spent then entire weekend in bed, except for the hour on Easter morning when I drug myself to the entirely too early Latin Mass. I would have preferred to go to Mass later in the day, but with how packed the churches are on Easter Sunday, I decided that I would infect less people if I went to the sparcely attended Latin Mass.

I took a seat as far away from the other 50 or so people in the Cathedral and didn't go to communion. The Latin Mass was as foreign as ever, but since I have been practicing my Latin prayers there were a few recognizable words.

Before I knew it, Lent and Easter were over and I felt so cheated out of the wonder and beauty that is the Triduum. I should be joyous that even though I missed the suffering and misery, I was there to witness the resurrection. To have Jesus with us, once again, to spread the glorious news of God. Instead, I'm feeling like Thomas who focused on what was lost and couldn't see what was gained.

So throughout this Easter season I am going in search of the beauty of Christ's return; walk with him as he reveals himself to his followers; look at the world with new eyes; think wiht a new mind; and love in a new way.