In God's Hands

Tomorrow I go for a second interview for a prospective job.  It's not what I was looking for, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and accept what you can get.  I have to trust that God knows what is best for me and will put me where I need to be.  Looking back over the past few months I can see where God has silently stepped in pushing me in the right direction.  He took my main distraction away so that I could focus on my relationship with Him which was sorely in need of renewal.  Then He led me to Carmel over Easter.  Last but not least He gave me time to deal with my diagnosis before bringing on a new job.  I just makes sense to follow his lead as St. Theresa of Avila did throughout her life.  She turned over all control to God.  She didn't worry about anything but her vow to be obedient to God.  Amazingly God provided for her and her Carmelite nuns many times over.  Tomorrow I will take God's lead and trust that he knows what is best for me.

Lead me, Lord, lead me, Lord,
by the light of truth 
to seek and to find the narrow way.
Be my way; be my truth;
be my life, my Lord,
and lead me, Lord, today.

Sioux City OCDS Website

The website is up!  It is not anywhere close to being finished, but it's out there for all to see.  Click here to take a peek.

Much Better

This week is starting off much better than the last few.  Saturday was our OCDS meeting and two of our members were clothed.  This time next year I will be one of those standing at the alter receiving my scapular.  I get chills of excitement just thinking about it.  God has put me here with this group of men and women to serve him and grow closer.  St. Theresa of Avila wrote in The Way of Perfection that those who truely love God seek good.  Sometimes I think God has to show some of us the way to good because we are so lost that we wouldn't know where to find good.  And good is this OCDS group.  Even though I've only been to three meetings now I am learning so much of what it means to love God with all my heart and soul, and how to share it with others.

Tomorrow I am meeting two of my new found sisters at the monastery for morning prayers and mass, then we are meeting to begin development of a website for our group.  The least I can do to show my appreciation is to use my extensive computer skills to help them out.  Pope Benedict has said to use all of the means available to evangelize and that is what we are going to do.  Maybe this little venture will help at least one lost soul.

Filled With Grace

I so needed Mass today.  As I walked through the doors of the church a great joy filled me.  It was like finally returning home after a long absence and being with someone you love.  Being in the presence of God washed away all the stress of the past week and a half.  It was a wonderful grace to have those burdens lifted from shoulders even if only for a short while.  I feel more focused and able to get back to doing God's work and helping lost souls find their home with Him.

O God, of Whose mercies there is no number, 
and of Whose goodness the treasure is infinite; 
we render thanks to Your most gracious majesty 
for the gifts You have bestowed upon us, 
evermore beseeching Your clemency, 
that as You grant the petitions of them that ask You, 
You will never forsake them, 
but will prepare for the reward to come. 
Through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Struggling

My life was turned upside down last week with a diagnosis of diabetes.  My mind has been so focused on learning how to make the changes in my eating and activity that God has gotten put on the back burner.  If it wasn't for my cell phone alarms I'd miss the Morning and Evening prayers nearly every day.  And prayer time comes in little prayers throughout the day rather than a block of time.  My reading has also come to a stop and daily mass has been discarded for the moment.  I feel so guilty for spending so much time on myself and so little on God.  Nothing could be worse than approaching God upon my death and having to say "Sorry, I was too busy".

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love;
According to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight,
So that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgement.
Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me.

You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing heart.

Amen